Can You Guess?
by Michele Grahn
Summary: Silly little piece, Unrealistic. But fun nonetheless
1. Goin to Chicago

Title: Can You Guess?  
  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to 1013 productions and the freakish little imp Chris Carter. I'm sure that Maury belongs to himself. The other characters that seem unfamiliar probably are because I made them up.  
  
Rating: PG 13  
  
Noromo Warning: This is indeed a shipper story so if you don't enjoy what the rest of the world does then you'd better high tail it out of here.  
  
Dedication: This is to my sister Christine who is a Master at Arms in the United States Navy! That is because I got the idea for it when we went to visit her in Chicago! Plus, you know, she rocks!  
  
Author's Note: This is my 2nd X-Files fan fiction. It's just a short thing that is not realistic at all but if you can get past that... it's fun... More serious/realistic ones to follow if you want...FEEDBACK!  
  
~~~~*~*~~~~  
  
"Why won't you tell me?" Mulder asked for the umpteenth time as he and Scully walked out of the basement office toward the elevator. "Because, I honestly don't know." Scully replied as she hit the up button. "All I now is that my mother told me that she wanted me to go meet her in Chicago this weekend. I don't know why, she won't tell me. She probably wants me to go see Jerry Springer or Maury. She gets a kick out of them."  
  
Mulder tried rather unsuccessfully to hide his large smile. "Are you serious? She watches those guys? I saw a Springer when the theme was 'My Momma's a Stripper and She Stole my Man." Of course he said this is his very best pissed off homosexual voice. Scully chuckled. "You watched the whole thing, didn't you?" he replied, "Taped it, actually, quite the source of entertainment." Scully snorted, "Only shut-ins with no social lives find that show entertaining." "So how does that exclude me?" Mulder deadpanned. Scully sighed and they rode the elevator up in silence.  
  
They reached the floor level and said their goodbyes. Scully promised to call once she got there safely, and headed home. She arrived at her apartment and began to pack for her unexpected trip. Scully found it odd that her mother had decided to have her join her but she would have felt guilty if she'd said no. She really had not been spending as much time with her mother as she would have liked and she missed their talks. While Scully was eating her dinner, the phone rang. Her mother said that Charlie was being sent to the great lakes to give a speech to the seamen recruits at boot camp graduation. It looked like he would be able to spend some time with them. Scully was elated and told her mother she would see her in 6 hours.  
  
~~~~*~*~~~~ 8 hours and 32 minutes later Scully's plane landed in Midway airport outside Chicago. After an hour and a half rain delay and engine trouble, which of course assuaged ALL of her already giant plane fears, they finally took off and made some good time. Maggie greeted her at the gate with 2 excedrins and a hug. She told Scully with a pleased smile that "Fox" had called 5 times in the last 2 hours asking if she was there yet. Scully just shook her head at Mulder's usual obsessive over-protectiveness, and her mother's usual over-suggestiveness concerning the Mulder Situation. That was what she had taken to calling it. The Situation. She didn't know what else would fit. Relationship? Not in the widely accepted definition of that term- no. (hmm) Fiasco? No- it wasn't that crazy. Friend? Too Platonic- but yet not more so. Confused, yes- hell yes- a confused situation, that works. By now she was staring into space and Maggie was waving her hand in front of her face. "What? Oh sorry, I zoned out, must be the Jet lag." Maggie smirked "Dana honey, you have only crossed one time zone." She left Scully and walked ahead knowing what was in store for her vacation.  
  
********Chapter 2 coming soon! Just need to type it up! 


	2. And they're off

"Thanks Zoe, thanks form my fish, too. I'll be back in a week and I'll drop off your 5 dollars as soon as I get in... ok... two pinches of food...right...bye." Mulder hung up the phone after arranging for his 6 year old neighbor to feed his fish while he was in Chicago.  
  
~~~*~*~~~  
  
"You've GOT to be kidding me mom. NO WAY. I'm not going! How could you volunteer me for this? You didn't even ask!" Dana Scully was livid. He mother had told her that Charlie would be meeting them at a television studio because he got 4 tickets to Maury. Scully was less than shocked; she figured that her mother would drag her to one of those mindless time- wasters. What she ha not counted on was being part of the circus itself. The theme? "Guess who?" Yeah, reunions, first meetings and secret admirers. Scully was furious. What she really wanted to do was scream and throw a temper tantrum but she was surrounded by guests, make-p artists, and audience members, and she did not feel like making a fool of herself. "Although", she thought, "that's exactly what I'll be doing when I get out there." Finally she agreed to go, but only after being promised 4 lunches out, dinner, a new suede coat and shoes to match. Besides, all her co- workers would be at work when this aired...hopefully. She had found out that she would be one of the guests with a secret admirer. She was almost fully sure it was Pendrell come back from the dead...or Skinner. "Haha, Mulder would get a kick out of that." She thought. Mulder. She envied him sitting home with nothing to do. She longed for an hour long bath rather than an hour of humiliation on cable TV.  
  
*** More to come, sorry about the short chapter. I'm having computer problems. Should I keep going? Or table it?? Lemme know! 


	3. Let the circus begin

Mulder got off his plane and checked his watch. 8:23- he was running late. He had to be at the studio at nine. This was a show he knew he could not afford to miss. He rushed through the crowded airport and got his rental car in record time. He got to the studio at 9:05 and was rushed backstage into a separate closed off section for guests. There, make-up and wardrobe people, microphone technicians and employees attacked him and bombarded him with questions. Their voices grew to a cacophony of noise and he fazed them out and let them do whatever they wanted. All he was focused on was what he was about to do. This was not his ideal way of telling Scully his feelings, but it sure was original. Plus, when Maggie had suggested it, he could not resist. He hoped Scully would forgive him for it. This would not be that embarrassing- besides, all of their co-workers would be at work...hopefully. A 10 minute warning was given and everyone settled into their places. Mulder realized he was being told to change quickly and not to TOUCH his hair. He went behind the curtain and changed into, ironically, a pair of black jeans and a heather grey t-shirt. "Figures" he thought. He also noticed that they had placed an extraordinarily large amount of gel in his hair and that annoying lock of hair that he knew Scully loved was behaving itself for once... so he fingered the gel out. The stylist gave him a dirty look when he came back out but it was too late to do anything about it. Luckily, Scully was first to go on so he had to do this before he had the chance to chicken out.  
  


* * *

  
Scully heard the 10 minute warning and felt the sudden urge to vomit. It was not that she was about to be on national television, it was that the national television program she was going to be on was Maury, THAT pissed her off. She was told that she was the first person up so at least the humiliation would be over soon. A large group of people pushed past her surrounded by employees. "Strange, I could swear I smelled Mulder's cologne." Scully thought. "Don't be stupid, more than one person could own that brand." The wardrobe people had put her in a knee length denim skirt and a white tank shell. She liked the shirt, it gave the appearance of cleavage, the wonders of push up bras. She would have to ask if she could keep it. Scully heard Mr. TV host himself call her name and the crowd cheering and off she went. "Oh boy..."  
  


* * *

  
I know, I'm damn evil. I just don't have a lot of time to type this up lately. I promised the next chapters will be longer!! MORE FEEDBACK. Its wonderful for the aspiring writer's ego!! 


	4. Who are you?

A/N I would just like to thank you guiys for your tremendous support. I've getting such great feedback! NightbloomingJasmine2, Starbuck223, Brennan Mulwray, Emma Barrows, Divad and BHandSD. Just to name a few! You guys rock!  
  
Scully sucked in a large breath and came through the side-stage curtain. The crowd continued cheering as she took her seat in the stool in the middle of the stage. It was then that she realized that there was a slit up the back of the skirt. "Well that explains the excess of cheers." She thought. "So," Maury said "what do you do for a living, Dana?" "Well, I work for the Federal Bureau of Investigation in a unit concerning crimes with paranormal phenomena and unexplained events." The crowd was somewhat quiet and confused. "Idiots" she thought. "Um, does that mean that you get to carry a gun and shoot stuff up?" asked Maury. Scully sighed. "Yes, I have to 'shoot stuff up' all the time." This time the crowd exploded into a series of whoops and cheers. Maury went over to one of the audience members with their hand raised. "Do you have a question?" "Uh, yeah, my name is Jeff and I was wondering if this hottie agent could put me in handcuffs any time soon." Scully blanched outwardly. "OK, you're what 18? Lose the acne, let your balls drop, grow 9 inches, in both areas, and then we'll talk." Jeff got the point and sat down accompanied by oohs and ows from the audience, along with some laughs.  
  
Maury returned to the center of the stage with Scully and took his marked seat. "Okay, Dana," he said "do you know why you were brought here-" "tricked into coming here" Scully interrupted. "My mother tricked me into coming onto this show." "Right... but do you know why?" asked the host. "No, I don't but if you had anything to do with this Charlie I WILL kill you." Scully addressed her brother who just sat and smiled. "As it turns out, he doesn't, this was all set up by someone that's not even related to you. And that person has a very specific reason. Dana, you are here because it has been revealed that you have a secret admirer who wishes to present himself to you." Scully stared at Maury with a shocked look of utter disbelief. The producers went to commercial and the crew went about their business. No one seemed to be paying attention to Scully anymore. It was at least 2 minutes when she heard the 30 second warning and snapped her eyes up and about. Maury returned and sat down. At that point there were people redoing her make-up and touching up her hair. Not that she was noticing, the two minutes before were filled with thoughts of "What the hell? Secret admirer? That's completely adolescent. I haven't even heard that phrase since 8th grade. But I'VE never actually been on the receiving end of one of those". Her mind flashed back to all the crushes she'd had as a school girl; Kyle, Rich, Matt, Tom, Mark, Matt again, Kevin, Alex, and Matt yet again. Her stomach had a violent reaction when she thought of him. "Ass" she thought. In her mind she had set up a possible list of secret admirers 1) Pendrell 2) Frohike 3) Ed Jerse 4) Skinner 5) Tom Colton 6) Padgett come back from the dead 7) Sheriff Hartwell 8) Daniel Waterston 9) The Great Mutato 10) Mulder  
  
That went in order from most to least likely, 1 being the most. "And that's just the people that know of." She thought Mulder was like a snowballs chance in hell. "5, 4, 3, 2 ..." She heard the camera man say and the prompters brought the audience back to life. Maury reintroduced the situation and began speaking to Scully again. "So, do you have any idea who brought you here, Dana?" "No," She lied, "I can't think of anyone that could have a crush on me." "Well, do you have anyone that you hope it is?" he replied. Scully sort of stared blankly at him for a moment, "Maybe" she replied cryptically. Maury just blinked, a little unused to the defenses put up by this guest. "Ooook, well for those who are unfamiliar with the way that this works, Dana will be blindfolded and her secret admirer brought out. He will give her 5 hints to his identity. If she can't, the man promises to go away without bothering her anymore. If she does guess she gets to choose if she wants him or not. Are you ready?" Scully nodded and a crew member tied a blindfold around her head. She put her headphones on and her secret admirer's videotape was played for the audience. After she took them off the crowd was cheering so she assumed her man was brought out on stage.  
  
"Okay," Maury said "here is your first hint" Scully smelled Chinese food being waved under her nose, she was instructed to open her mouth and she tasted Pork Lo Mein, it was her favorite. "What the hell, does my Chinese delivery guy have a crush on me?" She thought. The Chinese food was taken away and soon a gun was pressed into her hands with no clip. She recognized it as her type of gun that she used for work. "Ook that's really odd, a gun, ok, it could be Skinner...ew"  
  
It was announced that her third hint was audio and Cher's Walking in Memphis was played throughout the studio. "Holy Crap! Maybe it IS the Great Mutato!" Scully winced. When that got turned off Maury presented her with her 4th hint. He told her to identify her necklace. "It's my cross," She replied, "I always wear it, what kind of hint is that?"  
  
"Okay, Here is your final hint" Maury said. A rectangular object was placed in her hands and Scully's blindfold was removed, she looked own and a tear slid down her face when she saw what it was. ~~~*~*~~~  
  
Yeah- I know, that's low. lol There's one or two more chapters then I'm all done! Lemme know what you think! 


	5. Good Planning

A/N Ok guys, this is the last chapter. Sorry it took so long for me to add!! Hope you like and thanks for all the reviews, you guys are the best!!!  
  
~~~~*~*~~~~  
  
A video tape had been placed in her hands with the title reading "Superstars of the Super bowls". Another tears escaped the corner of her, quickly followed by 2 more. "So we can assume you've figured out who it is?" Maury asked. Scully spoke softly, almost inaudibly. "Oh my God...It's Mulder." When she said this the crowd, who had been appropriately quiet, roared to life. Mulder stepped up to her and gave her a smile and a nervous look.  
  
"Well what do you think Scully? Did you see it coming?" Mulder asked tentatively.  
  
"To be honest Mulder, I kinda hoped it would be Skinner." Scully deadpanned. Mulder's jaw dropped for a few long moments until Scully choked out a short laugh between tears and he knew she was kidding. "So, what is your decision Dana?" Asked Maury "Are you going to keep him or send him packing?" It was quiet for a moment and then one rather heavy middle aged woman called out from the audience, "Honey, if you don't want him then you can just send him right over here and I'll take him!!" The crowd erupted into laughter but soon became quiet again, enraptured in the tense scene unfolding in front of them.  
  
Mulder shifted from foot to foot and looked at Scully with that expression of his resembling a lost little puppy. That was it, that was all it took, that was all it ever took. She closed the three foot distance in between them quickly, reached up and held Mulder's face in her hands for a moment.  
  
"This is it," Mulder thought "She's gonna tell me to get lost.  
  
Much to his surprise, Scully leaned in a kissed him passionately for the better part of a minute. The audience was eating it up, especially when Scully's leg lifted up in true movie fashion.  
  
Once they had separated, she looked up at him and said quietly, "Hmmm, almost as good as Skinner..." Mulder's face dropped again but he recovered and laughed along with her. She turned to say to Maury "I think I'll hang onto this one for a while." Maury wished them luck and they were given their cue to exit the stage.  
  
Backstage, Maggie was beaming and practically jumping up and down. "Finally," she exclaimed "And it only took 7 years!" Scully hugged her mom with one arm because she refused to let go of Mulder's hand for one second. Soon they gathered their things and left the studio.  
  
~~~~*~*~~~~  
  
The next day, Mulder and Scully were seated in the airport heading for home. They were holding hands and talking. "I'm curious Mulder, why did you go through all this? Why couldn't you just tell me in DC?" Scully asked. "I like to be original," He replied "I bet no one has ever confessed their love for you on a cheesy day time talk show." Scully giggled. "Well you've got me there but what if someone in DC sees it. We'll never hear the end of it, Skinner will be furious, we could be separated from the X-Files..." Scully was now babbling on but Mulder just smiled. She looked at him questioningly. Mulder pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number quickly.  
  
"Hi, Mr. Tapert please...Rob, hi its Mulder... yeah... exactly...number 42...right...Thanks a lot buddy...ok... tell Lucy I said hi...ok... bye."  
  
Scully just stared in wide eyed confusion. "That's was Rob Tapert, he's a friend of mine. He knows people on the production team at Maury, that part of the episode will never see the light of day. He's gonna have them cut it and put in a clip from a previous episode. But I am having them send the original footage to me." Scully shook her head in amazement. "You had that planned as well; you knew I'd have a panic attack, didn't you?"  
  
"Yeah, I figured that you'd freak, its good to have connections." Scully laughed as the boarding call for their flight was called. They got up and walked hand in hand to the gate. "Scully, can I ask you something??" Mulder asked, "Sure" she responded.  
  
"Umm, when have you kissed Skinner, exactly??" Scully blushed furiously  
  
"He gave me something that I really needed so, you know..."  
  
"Holy Crap Scully!!!"  
  
"NOO! Not that! Sicko! It was information on where you were when you lost in the Bermuda Triangle. He broke protocol to get me the information so I was very grateful and didn't know what else to do to express it to I kissed him in the elevator at Hoover." Scully explained hurriedly. "Scully, you little Minx! That gives me a few ideas for when we get back to work" Mulder winked suggestively and Scully swatted his arm as they took their seats.  
  
"Hey Scully?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Is he really a better kisser than me?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"What???"  
  
THE END!!  
  
TEE HEE! I know, weird way to end it but you know. Just hafta be original. 


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